Fear No Fear

(All scripture from the NET, netbible.org, all rights reserved)

The words of King Lemuel, an oracle that his mother taught him:
Proverbs 31:1 (emphasis added)

Define a woman. Should be easy. It isn’t. It certainly is scientifically (there is a MINIMUM of two things 100% unique to females – including a part of the skeletal structure – that is NEVER found in males). Get into OTHER aspects of womanhood and it gets more complex. Not because the issue is complex, but because it begins to get tagged to SOCIETY and LANGUAGE and that is very complex. Essentially a ‘woman’ is whatever a particular collective group calls a woman – it could even be an iguana. A female is scientifically provable. A woman is a language issue. But a MOTHER? That one IS easy.

Almost anyone can be a mother. You don’t have to BIRTH a child to be a mother. Biologically, if you give birth you are and always will be a mother. But not every mother keeps their child. Children get taken away. They get put up for adoption. A biological mother is a female that has given birth to offspring. No one will argue that. Science has proven that simple observable fact. It’s a closed case. A mother is so much more than a BIOLOGICAL mother. They CAN be the natural parent, but they do not HAVE to be the natural parent. A mother is defined by several characteristics. The Word backs them all up.

“Honor your father and your mother, that you may live a long time in the land the Lord your God is giving to you” (Exodus 20:12). The word honour is kabad or kabed (kaw-bad’) in Hebrew. It means weighty. Heavy. It can even mean burdensome. There are those who are really agreeing with that last one. But burdensome in this context means restrictive. A mother is someone deserving of honour. Not because they are anything other than a mother. That means you can’t simply treat them any way you want – I have sinned there. They are to be honoured. It is to be weighed in your thoughts. It is not to be taken lightly. It is a command of Adonai and the first with a promise: you will live long in the land Adonai gives you. That’s a pretty good promise. If we are NOT honouring our mother (again, regardless of their performance), we are ignoring the fundamentals of life. There will be no generation continuity. There will be no passing of lessons. There will be a restricted growth potential. Mothers are worthy of honour and are one of the ways that we are able to achieve long life.

“She has opened her mouth with wisdom, with loving instruction on her tongue. Watching over the ways of her household, she would not eat the bread of idleness” (Proverbs 31:26-27). A mother is a person who is in a position to give wisdom. Teachers are mother figures. They are capable of instructing us. Not to impart knowledge for its own sake. But to impart knowledge from love – that patient, kind, gentle, faithful thing (1 Corinthians 13:4–8). The best mothers aren’t rude, forceful, pushy, ignorant, or mean. They want the best for us. They push us to excel. They know how their house works. They are CONSTANTLY doing things. I STILL don’t know how my mother managed it. She had us kids, plus the house, a husband to prepare and care for, taught Sunday School, helped out at the school library, dealt with neighbourhood kids, had hobbies and interests, and fed us. Like three times a day. I don’t know how she did it and I am consistently looking around myself wondering why I am struggling. Of course, she did not show us HER struggles. Instead, she was present for OURS.

“As a mother consoles a child, so I will console you, and you will be consoled over Jerusalem” (Isaiah 66:13). Mothers provide comfort. Comfort food. Comforting circumstances. They guide us through heartache. They guide us through fears. They take care of us – even when it is disgusting for them. They seek solutions. They do not rest. They are willing to batter down doors, throttle bureaucracy, assail governments, brave doctors offices and pharmacies, other parents, busybodies, and our own VERY fickle tastes and preferences. They are there for us to talk and listen. They don’t judge us – no matter how stupid it is. They are there. My mother stood in my doorway for countless nights helping me actually get to sleep – I was prone to night terrors. She didn’t want to. She must have been exhausted. But she was there. In the face of my irrationality, she was reliable and selfless.

Mothers are creatures of TRUST. “I recall your sincere faith that was alive first in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice, and I am sure is in you” (2 Timothy 1:5). They pray for us a LOT (Revelation 8:4). They need to in order to engage their patience and compassion I am sure. But they also do not wish us to sink. They can see our storms – current and future based on our behaviour – and want to make sure we are with Elohim in the boat. They know how to rely on Adonai for strength. For wisdom. And they aren’t shy about teaching it to us (Proverbs 22:6). They are not perfect, but they NEVER cease trying.

“A rod and reproof impart wisdom, but a child who is unrestrained brings shame to his mother” (Proverbs 29:15). Mothers tell us things as they are. They don’t sugarcoat them. They inform us when we step wrong. They show us the path to correction. And they often stand behind us as we walk it. This doesn’t mean they have to beat us. Or throw a slipper at our heads. Sometimes a simple word gets things across. My mother taught Sunday School for years with my father. She didn’t have an imposing presence physically. She did have a piercing gaze, a finger that could point, and a favourite word. It wasn’t an insult. Not really. It was a classification. An ‘only this thing would be foolish enough to act that way in this circumstance’ word. It was ‘turkey’. No kid took offence. But if she called you a turkey, you knew you had gone one step too far.

In the church I grew up in, there was a parade of flowers ever Mother’s Day. All the Sunday school classes from grade five down to preschool would gather in the foyer class by class, get handed a flowerpot wrapped in colourful foil, and we would parade down the aisles of the church to place them all on the stage. After church, you’d go collect the ones you placed and they were your gift to your mother. Very nice idea. However, having three hundred kids all in one space waiting for the time to go down front was somewhat chaotic. My favourite memory of this process was the Sunday were a particular child was misbehaving. I can’t remember what the child was doing, but it was a couple of notches above what all the other noisy children were doing. My mother, standing there with her class, pointed at the child and said sternly but not super loud, ‘Hey! Turkey!’. Every child within earshot who was being taught by or had EVER been taught by my mother stopped doing ANYTHING. Three quarters of those kids were silent, standing at attention, not fidgeting, and looking expectantly at my mother. I remember the confused – and grateful – looks of the other teachers. The kids who had not been taught by my mother also quieted as their friends turned into soldiers on parade. The entire group was quiet, well-behaved, and ready to go. Such is the power of a mother.

A mother is gracious (Proverbs 11:16). A mother is pure (1 Timothy 5:2). A mother bears fruit – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual – in those under her care (Psalm 127:3-5). A mother can be sorrowful as she goes through the trials of birthing a child – physically or emotionally – but can also be joyful as she sees them develop into who they were meant to be (John 16:21). A mother can be all of these things. She is a treasure. A root of wisdom. A calm and maybe not to calm pool of love we can draw on at time of need. They are they nurturers. They are the ones bringing the next generation into maturity. They are the glue that holds our society together. Males are the law bringers, the enforcers of discipline, the muscle that brings form to those things we need. But it was and is the mothers who develop our inner strength. Our wisdom. Our maturity. Our skills. Our morals. They are the guides of society from behind the frontline of muscle and sweat. They are the homes we return to after hours in the field. We underestimate them and undervalue them at the peril of the society that we are attempting to build. They are the iron pillars glued into the foundation of Messiah Jesus that holds up the building of US.

“In this way they will train the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, fulfilling their duties at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the message of God may not be discredited” (Titus 2:4-5). Love is a choice. We choose to have it. Hold it. Nurture it. And wield it one to another. Mothers help teach us that. And older mothers teach younger mothers the ropes. It comes naturally to NO ONE. It is POSSIBLE because Adonai loved us first (1 John 4:19). We are CAPABLE of love. Of making homes and families. Of being Godly wives, Godly mothers, and Godly children. Fathers can teach their children how to be men, or how to be providers, a work ethic, and a strength women don’t have. But mothers use and teach us of a strength men don’t have. They teach us how to be people. They teach us how to hold to Godly emotion in the face of fleshly feelings. They are the mould that we all conform to even as we also conform to the mould of Jesus. They get us to the place where we can confidently abide in Jesus. They teach us HOW to BE and the Holy Spirit teaches us WHERE to be.

I cannot speak to anyone else’s mother. I have had den mothers. I have had scholastic mothers. I have seen men take up the role of mother when they had no other choice. I have seen mothers of full families and single mothers. I have seen working mothers and mothers unable to employ because of needs at home. Sacrificing mothers and blessing mothers. Hurried mothers and helicopter mothers. Even church mothers. I think I have seen every type that there is. But I cannot speak to ANY of those kinds. I can only speak to mine.

She is a Godly woman. She is a good wife. She was a brilliant example. She showed what to do. She showed how to correct mistakes. She was giving. Loving. Educating. She raised us to function in life and to take care of others along the way. She taught me how to give. Also how to wipe a toilet – not sure I ever mastered that. She is STILL giving of time and attention. STILL willing to pass along skills and wisdom. She is a loving and devoted wife without sacrificing any of her individuality or strengths. She has been and continues to be a model I feel I never quite live up to. She is a treasure. She has so much worth and value I know that I am never going to be able to truly show it to her. I appreciate her more than my words can say – and I make my living with words.

Mothers are to be honoured. They truly help make our lives long, lush, and joyful. I am ever thankful for my mother and all the mothers that I see around me. They are bright torches carrying the love of Elohim through this world, igniting little fires in all their children and then fanning those flames throughout the years until we too are torches of our own shining Yahweh’s light into this world (Matthew 5:14-16). If you have a mother, honour her ALL the year round. But today, take a moment to tell her at least that you love her. All mothers – any shape, any size, any relation, any profession, any anything – deserve that.