Fear No Fear

(All scripture from the NET, netbible.org, all rights reserved)

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 (emphasis added)

This same verse is in Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:8 where Jesus is quoting it. Paul also quotes it in Ephesians 5:31. Seems like something that Adonai wanted us to get a hold of, huh? Yet by and large we haven’t. 40-50% of first marriages fail and 60-67% of second or greater marriages fail. If you want to look at specific Christian-only marriages, 20-25% fail. Especially among the younger generations. While the Word DOES instruct the older women to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children (Titus 2:4), how can they when they have a bad track record as well? And that doesn’t mean it is up to the women alone. Not by a long shot. The TWO become ONE. It isn’t solo. It’s a WE thing.

It isn’t the husband’s place to correct the wife. It isn’t the wife’s place to correct the husband. This isn’t about who’s boss. Ruach HaKodesh corrects us (John 16:8). Period (2 Timothy 3:16). It is INDIVIDUAL correction when you’re dealing with personal actions. It isn’t my business if my wife isn’t treating me right. If she isn’t doing her share of the chores. If I don’t like how she’s dealing with the children as individuals. That’s between her and Adonai. Who is to say if MY opinion would be right anyway? It isn’t that husbands can’t GIVE their opinions on these and other things. It’s just that they shouldn’t do it unsolicited. If she WANTS input, you can give it. But correction? That’s Adonai’s job.

What about that submit stuff? “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church (he himself being the savior of the body). But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24). That’s true, but it isn’t isolated. First, it starts with the admonition for us to submit to one another out of reverence for Messiah Jesus (Ephesians 5:21). Second, did you notice the husband part? “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to sanctify her by cleansing her with the washing of the water by the word, so that he may present the church to himself as glorious—not having a stain or wrinkle, or any such blemish, but holy and blameless” (Ephesians 5:25-27). How many husbands are doing THAT?

So husbands and wives are to submit to one another. Jesus is supposed to be a key part of the marriage – providing the LOVE that sanctifies through the Word. In other words, we’re to support each other. REALLY support each other. The husbands role is to help make the wife the best individual, the best wife, and (where applicable) the best mother and grandmother that she is meant to be. This is NOT from the HUSBAND’s point of view, but Adonai’s. Who does Adonai want her to be (Ephesians 2:10)? What is the work that He has placed before her? That only SHE can do? It is the husband’s role to help her achieve that. He can’t tell her HOW to do it, but He can SUPPORT her in it. He can help get her the resources and any instruction she might need (night courses, books, training dvds, watching the kids or managing the home so she can attend things, etc). Every single day she should be another step closer, a better person, and more Godly than she was the day before. Not because you forced her, gave her instructions, made a to-do list, or anything like that. No. She should be that way because you supported her in what she is doing. Remember that the wife was created to be a helper. An equal companion. How can she be equal OR a companion if she isn’t supported in what she’s been called to do, no matter WHERE it is or what ROLE it is?

Dominion cannot exist without restriction. We accept the restriction and are given in exchange dominion. This is where humanity started out. Where the MALE started out. But he could not fulfil his purpose alone, so the FEMALE was created out of the MALE and Adonai called them (both of them, Genesis 5:2) ADAM (which means ruddy or red like dirt, but also mankind). They were on equal footing with Adonai. Yes, there was an authority chain of command, but we’re used to that in the working world and in any healthy business it never means submit or be dominated. Male and Female were partners. Two sides of the same coin. Equal. And as equal partners, they had different roles, but the same basic assignment as a UNIT. The husband was to support the wife and the wife was to support the kids and as a UNIT they were to learn about Adonai’s LOVE and who He was and what He was all about. Marriage then was a covenant of partnership.

Love is a choice. Not everyone wants to hear that. But it is true. Passion is a feeling. Lust is a condition. Love is a decision. You CHOOSE who to love and you can continue loving them no matter what (and yes, there are a lot of issues around that). This is how things work with Adonai. This is how things work in the Kingdom. People have free will and they make DECISIONS. They fall into NOTHING. Everything done with intent. That’s the Kingdom Way. That’s the covenant way. It should also be the marriage way. It COULD be. It could be a way to heal a LOT of marriages. The answer is in DOMINION.

Adam was restricted in Genesis 2:15-17. He was given an assignment and a restriction. In order to complete the assignment, he needed dominion. Which he got as a condition of restriction. But he also needed a helper. A companion. An equal part. He got it in Genesis 2:21-22. It says NO WHERE that Adonai repeated the restriction. There was no need because Adam had been told. Equal partners, but one was accountable. Simple. Then Eve was tempted – with Adam right there – and she fell to temptation. Nothing happened. No one died in any way. She offered it to Adam and he decided to rebel against Adonai and side with her and the snake. He ate and IMMEDIATELY something happened. It was when ADAM fell that sin brought death into things (Romans 5:12-19). Adonai came to them and Adam passed the buck. He blamed Eve. Dominion fell to her. Eve passed the buck. She blamed the snake. Dominion fell to the snake and the one behind it. They said NOTHING. They kept it and the devil became ruler of the natural world in place of Adam (John 16:11; Ephesians 2:2).

It is IN JESUS that we get dominion back. When we do, it’s back to square one as far as obedience goes. If we obey and remain in Jesus we know who we are in Him and we have dominion in the service of the Father’s will. When we don’t, we’ve rebelled and it is sin. The difference is that Ruach HaKodesh and Jesus are there to help us in repenting, turning from the sin, and accepting Jesus’ sacrifice over it. If we obey more than we don’t, we’ll find ourselves sinning very infrequently. In the same way, a husband and wife marriage also gets back their dominion and mission when they know who they are in Messiah Jesus. They can walk in their assignment and roles, praising Adonai and bringing glory to the Father as we were always meant to.

They are to submit to each other. They are to have Jesus first place. So what’s the wife to submit to? The husband’s loving correction in regards to their overall role. Are they AS A UNIT putting the Word first? Are they training their children in the things of Adonai? Are they modelling the Father’s love and mercy? As a UNIT are they on the right track? Are they consulting TOGETHER and praying TOGETHER and listening to Adonai TOGETHER? These are the things the husband is responsible to the Father for. They can talk it out and agree to stick with Adonai about these things. About everything. If the UNIT has strayed, the husband (male) should correct things IN AGREEMENT with the wife (female). Adam could have corrected Eve in the Garden. He could have said no, we’re not doing that. He could have led them into repentance on it instead of agreeing with the wrong thing.

Our Father in heaven is our Source (ABBA) for everything we need. In our personal lives and in our marriages. Jesus should be in on EVERY aspect of it and yes, I mean EVERY aspect. If we were doing things the way we were created to, that wouldn’t be a problem. It is ONLY a problem when we mix the world into our marriages. Maybe in small ways. Maybe in ways we have been programmed into – or we use that as an excuse. We have dominion when we are in Jesus. Our marriages will function as they are supposed to when we are in Jesus. Not just individually, but AS A UNIT. A marriage of male and female with Messiah Jesus as the head. Modelling the Trinity and the Kingdom for ourselves, our offspring, and for any one else around us.

We don’t have to have wounded marriages. We don’t have to have sick marriages. We don’t have to have dying or dead marriages. In Jesus, there IS no death. We can go back to doing things the way they were meant to be done. Not with control. Not with punishment. Not with any of the ways the world thinks it should be done. Humbly, submitting to each other, laying our UNIT before the cross and letting Him transform it back to where it should be. Love is a choice and this is also a choice. Which one are you making? Letting Jesus into everything and running your marriage the way it was meant to be? It is a choice. Like love. Like marriage. It’s a choice. Choose life. Choose obedience to Jesus. Choose to be a WE, not a me and you.

Daily Affirmation Jesus IS Messiah: Isaiah 50:6

“I offered my back to those who attacked, my jaws to those who tore out my beard; I did not hide my face from insults and spitting.” Messiah would give His back to the smiters. It would be this which would enable sickness to be done away with. By those stripes, bruises, and wounds Messiah would release healing into the world for any to have who trusts in Messiah. “Then he released Barabbas for them. But after he had Jesus flogged, he handed him over to be crucified” (Matthew 27:26). This was the physical walking out of what Jesus accomplished before the world was made (Revelation 13:8). Isaiah referenced this in Isaiah 53. Jesus had already proven it to be true (Matthew 8:16-17). Messiah suffered so we would not have to. In ANY way. Not physically, not mentally, not emotionally, and not alone. Healing is for always because of what Jesus went through for us. Jesus IS Messiah!

Your Daily Confession of Jesus/Yeshua’s Identity:

Yeshua is the Christ, the Son of the living God.

Matthew 16:16b