Fear No Fear

(All scripture from the NET, netbible.org, all rights reserved)

to strengthen those who mourn in Zion by giving them a turban, instead of ashes, oil symbolizing joy, instead of mourning, a garment symbolizing praise, instead of discouragement. They will be called oaks of righteousness, trees planted by the Lord to reveal his splendor.
Isaiah 61:3 (emphasis added)

This is a verse in a section about deliverance. About Adonai doing what WE cannot do. And there is a line right in the middle of it. Hope is in the next verse, but if you don’t know what side of the line you’re on you won’t know what to do with the hope. It’s all well and good to TALK about healing marriages. But marriages in trouble don’t always know they can be healed. The world doesn’t WANT to heal marriage. They want to program separation. They want to program ‘get another one’. Dating is practise for divorce. Especially the world’s way. Dating is going ALL IN for a time to see if they’re ‘the one’ and changing up for another partner if it doesn’t work out. It teaches you that when difficulties happen, when trouble comes, you can change up. The world is right there ready to counsel you through, help you manage the grieving process – but not tell you why there IS grief if it is ‘natural’ to change things up. So when you come to a line like this, it can be hard to grasp where you are at.

On one side you have: mourning, ashes, and heaviness. On the other side you have: joy, praise, and beauty. For most people, the line is a bit of a zig-zag. Sex is joyful. Finances are ashes. Praising the possessions (great tv, vehicle, and home). Kids bringing heaviness (time, cost, trouble at school). The things that are positive and the things that are negative vary from couple to couple, but most people have some in one camp and some in another. We tend to straddle the line. That isn’t the will of Adonai. But we’re told it’s NORMAL. They say that about 20% of all marriages will be in distress at some point. Distress equals people who identify as higher than normal issues in these areas: poor communication, unrealistic expectations about their spouses and/or negative explanations of their spouses behaviours, and lack of intimacy or loving feelings between spouses. None of that factors in a crisis in their lives. 20% of marriages claim being distressed, but the divorce rate is 50%. There is something wrong there.

It means 30% of marriages tank flat-out without claiming distress. That means either 30% of divorcees are quitters or 20% of divorcees tried real hard. Since there is a 70% probability of remarriage, you probably can’t make cut and dried lines like that. Excessive demands, talks turning to fights, blaming each other for bad things that happen in the relationship, or wanting the other to know what you’re thinking and feeling WITHOUT saying it yourself. These are common disagreements and issues. Worse, it is assumed (and sometimes stated by mental/relationship professionals) that the strong feelings during the dating & engagement periods naturally decline over time. Which is plain crazy. You have passionate feelings about someone you don’t know well SHOULD mean that your feelings will intensify and deepen the more you know them and the closer you get as you live together. Not how it often works, though.

Where all this leads is dark. Those with marriage problems are more prone to alcoholism and depression (or other psychological issues). Physical health problems are more common and more serious. Almost a third of marriages PERIOD will experience violence (male to female OR female to male), and those in crisis are more susceptible. Children with issues are also higher in marriages where there are problems. They’re more likely to have emotional problems themselves as well as perpetuating the cycle when it is their turn to walk the aisle.

Therapy is often a last ditch effort to stay together. But the therapy is less about saving the marriage as it is a general checklist to see if the marriage is worth saving. To help answer whether what each spouse ‘needs’ to have a satisfying marriage is present. If it is, they’re taught communication methods, how to increase positive behaviours, problem-solving skills, and how to improve their sexual relationship through enhancement. These are not seen as bad goals (though I doubt the wisdom of ‘enhancement’ teaching because I think it leads in the wrong direction, but that’s unfounded opinion because I’ve never been exposed to that therapy to know how they approach it exactly). There is a better way.

Messiah Jesus is our DELIVERER. He put it this way: “He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and the regaining of sight to the blind, to set free those who are oppressed” (Middle of Luke 4:18). A marriage in crisis can feel like a prison. He can release you. BOTH of you. Not to kill the marriage (Matthew 19:6), but to RENEW it. “For the love of Christ controls us, since we have concluded this, that Christ died for all; therefore all have died. And he died for all so that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised. So then from now on we acknowledge no one from an outward human point of view. Even though we have known Christ from such a human point of view, now we do not know him in that way any longer. So then, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; what is old has passed away—look, what is new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:14-17). When our love of Messiah Jesus is our focus, even our marriages can become a NEW THING. Jesus CAME to deliver us. To renew us. To restore us. We do NOT have to live in crisis. We do NOT need to experience a decline in feelings. We can experience a loving, giving, encouraging, and joyful marriage. We can experience constantly deepening, strengthening and intensifying feelings for each other.

Jesus offers us an exchange. If we will give up what is in our hands, He will fill our hands with what He is holding out to us. There’s no catch. He’s a giver. He wants to see us ALL free. Every single one of us. No ONE, no COUPLE, and no MARRIAGE left behind. The devil is in business to rebel. To rebel and wreck anything he can get his hands on. Since marriage is a type and shadow of the trinity, a physical example of how intimate we should be with Adonai, and ground zero for developing a program of Word-inspired morals, the devil has it in his sights. He and the world he inspires have done a pretty good job at cracking the foundations of marriage and bringing in a lot of nonsense elements that are further fragmenting its value in the next generations.

The modern believer is dumb. Yeah, that’s right. We are DUMB. The Word couldn’t be plainer if it tried. We HAVE authority. We HAVE dominion. Jesus got them back for us in HIMSELF. He has them and we are allowed to use them according to the Word. The Word says we can AND tells us HOW we can. Glorify the Father. Now wouldn’t it be a testimony to His Grace and Mercy and Power if all believer marriages SUCCEEDED? Like EVERY time? 100% success rate. Would THAT now bring Adonai Glory? Would THAT not bring people to church in droves wondering how we do it? Imagine believers reporting that we have intimacy, loving feelings toward each other, good communication, incredible sex, and mutual understanding and respect? Think of the reporters that would come knocking, the talk shows, the books, and everything else. It is something we can HAVE. It is POSSIBLE. And it doesn’t matter WHAT shape your marriage is currently in.

“They will rebuild the perpetual ruins and restore the places that were desolate; they will reestablish the ruined cities, the places that have been desolate since ancient times” (Isaiah 61:4). Adonai can fix us. He can take us and renew us to our youth. In terms of marriage, He can take a marriage and renew it to it’s youth. Those days of passionate feeling. The courtship phases of dating and engagement. He can take us there. Poor communication? Ask Ruach HaKodesh! He can tell us what we need to do or what to say. He won’t read minds for us. He won’t tell us what someone ELSE is thinking or feelings. He WILL tell us what WE need to do. He may even tell us the reason. But if we use HIS language in the way He TELLS us, we will have GREAT communication. EVERY TIME.

If it’s ruined, He will FIX IT. Even the arguments that happen again and again. One day you’ll wake up and you won’t have it. He’ll restore those areas of your relationship that have gotten dry. That produce NOTHING. Not good, not bad, just NOTHING. Aspects to your relationship that have NEVER been there. You can enjoy them. They can restore and be a JOY to you. You can find things DAILY to praise Adonai about. Again and again. Singly AND as a couple. Having good things, good kids, a good relationship.

Jesus RESTORES us. Jesus makes us NEW. He can do it with people, He can do it with nations, and He can do it with marriages. Believer marriages can go from slightly better than worldly marriages to being BRIGHT examples of what HE says is possible. Adonai is a forward-moving God. He wants forward-moving marriages. Adonai is a God of GROWTH. He wants GROWING marriages. If He can restore desert places, swampy places, decayed places, and abandoned places, He can restore a marriage. If we will focus on Jesus and follow Him. If we will listen to Ruach HaKodesh and obey what we hear – testing it against the Word which He will never contradict. If we will obey the Father and yoke ourselves to Jesus. We will have amazing marriages in every way. It is making HIM Lord and doing what He says. He knows what’s best. He knows what side you are on. And He knows how to get you onto His side. The BLESSING side. Which side are you on? Which side so you WANT to be on? And will you submit to Him so that you can inhabit your place: the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Daily Affirmation Jesus IS Messiah: Isaiah 52:13

“Look, my servant will succeed! He will be elevated, lifted high, and greatly exalted” Messiah would be a Servant, but a Servant Exalted. He would suffer. He would die. And then He would rise again. “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the farthest parts of the earth.” After he had said this, while they were watching, he was lifted up and a cloud hid him from their sight. As they were still staring into the sky while he was going, suddenly two men in white clothing stood near them and said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand here looking up into the sky? This same Jesus who has been taken up from you into heaven will come back in the same way you saw him go into heaven.”” (Acts 1:8-11). “and what is the incomparable greatness of his power toward us who believe, as displayed in the exercise of his immense strength. This power he exercised in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms far above every rule and authority and power and dominion and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And God put all things under Christ’s feet, and gave him to the church as head over all things” (Ephesians 1:19-22). Jesus was lifted up by humans for the purpose of killing Him. But the Father killed sin using Jesus. Then He lifted Jesus up. Up into resurrected life. Up into a witness to the believers. Up into the sky. Up into heaven. Up into the position Jesus holds today. The name above ALL names. The head of the church. Jesus IS Messiah!

Your Daily Confession of Jesus/Yeshua’s Identity:

Yeshua is the Christ, the Son of the living God.

Matthew 16:16b