Fear No Fear

(All scripture from the NET, netbible.org, all rights reserved)

For the sake of Zion I will not be silent; for the sake of Jerusalem I will not be quiet, until her vindication shines brightly and her deliverance burns like a torch. Nations will see your vindication, and all kings your splendor. You will be called by a new name that the Lord himself will give you. You will be a majestic crown in the hand of the Lord, a royal turban in the hand of your God. You will no longer be called, “Abandoned,” and your land will no longer be called “Desolate.” Indeed, you will be called “My Delight is in Her” and your land “Married.” For the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married to him.
Isaiah 61:3 (emphasis added)

Is marriage necessary in modern times? A lot say no. Some say it has become a ‘business’, and who wants that? Some say it is just a paper and ceremony that gets the government into your business and make it hard to disengage when things tank between you. Some think marriage itself doesn’t play a large part in anyone’s life, so why bother? Others feel a contract forcing you to stay together takes the ‘romance’ out of it, or it doesn’t take into account the idea of people growing apart as they age. You know what I DON’T see? Anyone talking about covenant.

I understand that at one time women were considered second-class citizens and needed the protections a husband offered – and you’ll note that is NOT part of the Jewish model of marriage as laid out in the Law. I understand that marriage was considered to be an exchange of services. Women got financial security and monogamy. Men got sexual favours, food, a clean home, and monogamy. Unbalanced at best, yes? I understand that people are beginning to feel that it is unnecessary and old fashioned. I mean, you don’t need to be married to have sex. You don’t need to be married to live together (most places, in some countries it is still illegal). You don’t need to be married to share finances or have contracts in place to regulate separation of assets. It DOES seem outdated.

Is the problem marriage or is the problem the changing of our values? Sex shouldn’t be part of dating. It isn’t something that you need to check compatibility in. People say you do, but if we weren’t exposed to sex in entertainment, pornography, literature, and art would we even HAVE preferences set in stone that we needed to find compatible partners for? Sex should be something you explore together, making compromise, learning what works and what doesn’t, TOGETHER as a couple. How should that be part of dating? The idea of checking out whether you are going to get serious with this person? Intimacy at that level has NO BUSINESS in ANY relationship that isn’t permanently attached.

It is THE most intimate thing you can do, when it is done right (vs made into some kind of animal impulse or release of lust that means nothing). And I don’t mean it has to be candlelight and dinner and fancy trips. There is a place for that. There’s also a place for ‘we have five minutes and I want you’. There is SAFETY in mutual exploration with someone you are bonded with. There is SAFETY in being able to have all kinds of situations, passions, and ideas to explore together. You can learn together. Grow together. And it can ALL be intimate and bonding. It can also ALL have Adonai involved. Don’t be shocked. He made us. He knows how the plumbing works. He knows how it’s designed to work. He knows what feels good. He knows what HE thinks is appropriate and what HE thinks is a good idea to avoid – all from HIS point of view. He can be a sexual counsellor to your spirit as easily as He can be a comfort in hard times, a guide to employment, and a trusted source of advice for how to live life. If we’re too scared to let Adonai into ALL of our lives, we have work to do on that relationship (Romans 12:2).

Marriage CAN be like a business. Scheduling kids, trips, working hours, improvements to the home, repairs to the vehicles, after-school activities, where to eat, where to get groceries, who is taking care of what chores and when, health care, wills, insurance, friends, taxes, banking, bills, credit cards, etc etc etc. There are companies that specialise in providing assets (calendars, planners, apps, etc) to make it easier for us to blend our lives and manage our activities. It can be a source of stress. It can be a source of conflict and division. And everyone and their brother has an opinion on all of it. Forbes Advisor did a survey and found seven areas consistently listed as the biggest sources of conflict. In order: Career choices, Parenting differences, Division of household labour, Relationships with family, Relationships with friends, Finances, and Health choices. It CAN be difficult.

Modern marriage is often seen as a throwback. A chance for the government to gouge you (Approximately $250 for a marriage license and commissioner and $40 for a certificate, but $400 for a divorce filing PLUS extra costs, – including lawyer and court fees). Or an out-of-date contract that – since it can be ignored and broken – doesn’t guarantee monogamy. That IS marriage in the world. That is marriage without LIFE. That is marriage that has been worked on, beaten, scourged, and altered in subtle and not-so-subtle ways to ensure that it doesn’t mean anything. So that it has less value than the paper it is printed on. If these contractual things are all that a marriage is, and if the ‘benefits’ are all available to everyone without it, then there IS no reason to be married. It is a desolate institution. Barren and increasingly abandoned by more and more people.

Marriage isn’t a contract from Adonai’s point of view. In fact, nowhere in the Word does it prescribe a ceremony of marriage. From Adonai’s point of view it isn’t about a piece of paper. From Adonai’s point of view it is about COVENANT. Now, can we do that without the modern marriage agreements, ceremonies, and paperwork? Yes, but while the Word gives no set-in-stone ceremony, we do see examples of ceremonies and celebrations. Seems to me Adonai smiles on ANY legal marriage arrangement that IS a marriage arrangement in your country – and not anything that is second-class marriage wannabes (there are a LOT). I think Adonai smiles on the formal binding because He knows we’re human and frequently do our own thing without restrictions keeping our behaviour in check. We seem to NEED contracts of some kind to REMIND us of the COVENANT that is the foundation and point of marriage.

What makes a believer’s marriage (or should make) is not the covenant itself. It is the two believers (male and female) bringing Jesus into the covenant with them. Without Jesus, you might as well get hitched by a Justice of the Peace wherever you can find one. With Jesus, it doesn’t matter who officiates the legalities – unless they are against Jesus and what He stands for (a lot of people can marry, but not all are profitable for the marriage which follows). It is a bringing together of the man and woman with Jesus, and covenanting together those THREE individuals to give the Father glory in EVERYTHING the marriage does, stands for, and creates. “Then the man said, “This one at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and unites with his wife, and they become one family” (Genesis 2:23-24). This one at last. If you look at the previous verses, Adonai brought to the male every single kind of creature on the face of the earth and NONE OF THEM were compatible, suitable, or good (which closes the book on beastiality of ANY kind be it with animals, cartoons, or furry suits – it isn’t kink or preference, but sin plain and simple no matter how appealing anything about it works). The female taken from the male was the ONLY and PERFECT companion.

Adonai referred to them as equals with a single name (Genesis 5:1-2). They were helpmeets. Companions. In it to win it together. Following Adonai together to get done what He gave to get done. Just as Ruach HaKodesh runs the church, He should also run our marriages. How do you talk to each other? Interact with each other? Do chores? Buy groceries? Make big decisions? Make small decisions? What to cook, where to live, what careers to pursue, what careers to avoid? What children to have, how to raise them, how to see them educated, and how to help them be the best them they can be? What about what we share or don’t share? How to have time together and how to have time apart? How to manage different interests, likes, dislikes, friends, families, holiday celebrations, churches, or anything else that is OR isn’t compatible? That is a whole lot of areas where we can have a whole lot of disagreements and stress. We WON’T when we let Ruach HaKodesh run the show.

All He does is tell us what Jesus says. “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything and will cause you to remember everything I said to you” (John 14:26). All Jesus does is tell us what the Father says. “For I have not spoken from my own authority, but the Father himself who sent me has commanded me what I should say and what I should speak” (John 12:49). Every time you BOTH put Adonai first and BOTH do what He says – whether it is a LITTLE thing or a HUGE thing – that is a potential fight you have avoided. Whenever you BOTH consciously and on purpose use kindness, gentleness, or love to communicate, that is a potential struggle you have avoided. Every day. In every thing. Day after day, month after month, year after year, consciously yoked to Jesus under the direction of the Father in all the things you do in your marriage (Matthew 11:28-30). Think of what THAT marriage would be like!

Before you start arguing about how you want to do things yourself and you don’t want to have to check in with Him on every little thing, let me say this: be quiet. It isn’t a prison. It isn’t bondage. The more Word is in your heart, the more comes out. Naturally. Without conscious thought. You just KNOW that some things are wrong. You just KNOW that some things are right. You KNOW that you should speak and act a certain way. Period. You don’t need to check in on that, you only need to be conscious of it. To keep Him in mind. How are we going to give glory to the Father today? Now? In this situation? It is ALWAYS put Elohim first. It is ALWAYS do the WORD thing. ALWAYS. When we do this, we have true freedom. There is such a release not having to shoulder the burdens. To not have to manage the anxieties. To not have to think of a solution to everything that comes up or comes at us. To leave it ALL at the cross and look at the solution Jesus has for us instead of looking at the situation itself. That isn’t DENYING the situation, but it is EMBRACING what the Father wants us to do inside of it. It is choosing to be in the boat at peace instead of in the storm screaming for your mother (Matthew 8:23-27).

You know what Elohim does with a marriage like that? He’ll cause it to shine brightly (Matthew 5:14-16). He’ll show everyone around you the splendour of your marriage. It will be a golden crown, sparkling and drawing attention. It won’t be desolate. It won’t be abandoned. It will be build strong. It will last. It will be a source of JOY. It will draw other people to you. To your home. It will become an oasis in the desert of modern relationship thinking. They won’t even call it marriage. It will be so far out of their experience they’ll need a new name for it. It will be an example of the Glory of Elohim. It will be something they will crave. Something they will want. Something they will fight to have. It will be world-changing. The idea of truly putting Jesus in the centre of ALL of our lives. Healing our marriages and healing the marriages of everyone who comes knocking at our doors. What a great opportunity to share what Jesus has done for us. The time is coming. Start today. Start in your own marriage. Let HIM be Lord of it. Let HIM be the centre of it. Let HIM be the head of it. In it to win it, together you three. Jesus, husband, and wife. The way it was meant to be. Brought together and sealed by Adonai Himself. An example of how intimate He wants to be with us. An example of how loving life can really be.

Daily Affirmation Jesus IS Messiah: Isaiah 52:13

“Look, my servant will succeed! He will be elevated, lifted high, and greatly exalted” Messiah would be the Servant of Adonai. He would be pointed out by Elohim Himself. Here to serve. To serve us. To serve Him. Dedicated to the Father alone. “While he was still speaking, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my one dear Son, in whom I take great delight. Listen to him!”” (Matthew 17:5). Adonai Elohim Himself spoke this out over Jesus. Jesus served His Father. “You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had, who, though he existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking on the form of a slave, by looking like other men, and by sharing in human nature. He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:5-8). Jesus was obedient from the beginning to the very end. Jesus was the Servant of the Most High. Jesus IS Messiah!

Your Daily Confession of Jesus/Yeshua’s Identity:

Yeshua is the Christ, the Son of the living God.

Matthew 16:16b