Fear No Fear

(All scripture from the World English Bible, ebible.org, all rights reserved)

“Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh.“
Genesis 2:24

This isn’t the foundation of the institution of marriage. The word translated ‘wife’ here is ‘ishshah’ (ish-shaw’). It translates to woman, female, and wife. It is used as all three in various verses throughout the scriptures. This is not the institution of marriage, per se. This is the foundation of the covenant relationship – which after the Fall we needed the institution of marriage for. Before the Fall there was no jealousy, no desire to take someone else’s half. No need to make the bond between a male and female legally binding so that they wouldn’t separate every time something came up that one of them didn’t like. Before the Fall, we inhabited our positions and performed our duties, and loved perfectly, and worked everything to bring glory to God – just like the angels did. There was no need for formality and law. We didn’t need that until the Fall. But all that legality (the institution of marriage, no matter HOW it worked in any given culture or time period) is based on what God designed and created: one male, one female, in a committed covenant relationship, two halves making a whole, and that whole in a relationship with God. Why do we need formal marriage? Because without it, we don’t easily choose to hold to God’s model of monogamy and loving devotion one to another in a covenant relationship based on relationship (together) with Him. Even with it, Fallen humanity had issues with it. Divorce is not godly. It is NOT God’s best. Multiple spouses is not godly. It is NOT God’s best. That is all HUMAN thinking and HUMAN behaviour. We look it at in particular cultures or with our own reasoning and determine that it must be right and good, but God doesn’t think like that. Jesus confirms the male-female monogamous and permanent covenant relationship model (Matthew 19:3-9). We were meant to be in a permanent relationship. We were meant to be in a male-female partnership. Nothing else was the plan. This was the DESIGN. This is God’s point of view. [This is why dating as we perform it today is really just training in divorce. Try it out, move on if it doesn’t work. Base it on passion or physical compatibility. Modern dating is a horror show and just about the worst way to find a mate. Godly dating includes none of that nonsense and basis everything on real values, real relationship, and puts God first and foremost.]

It’s possible that Adam spoke this in prophetic revelation to what was needed after the Fall. He couldn’t have said it any other way, because there were no parents yet. There were only two human beings in existence anywhere on the planet. It is more likely this is an explanation by Moses, who wrote Genesis down, on how a covenant relationship was to work.

It is normal for a child (male OR female) to have a strong relationship with their parents. But when a covenant relationship (a marriage) is entered into, that bond between the male-female couple is stronger than the bond between the parent and the child. It is right for that parent-child bond to weaken, moving from complete authority to one of guidance and respect. It also shows that no family should try to control or dominate the marriage relationship that their offspring has. It is not the role of a parent to run or control a child’s marriage or family. It is not the role of a child to constantly look to their parents for decisions, provisions, or rulings. We are meant to grow out of a dependent role and into a role of mutual respect and honour. Separation, but not severance. Just like God has no grandchildren and we all need to forge our own relationship with Him, each covenant relationship (marriage relationship) needs to stand on their own and take responsibility for each other, without outside interference or control.

The sage Chizkuni writes: ‘Adam realised that this new creature was basically different from all the others that he had become familiar with, so that he concluded it could only be due to the fact that she shared the same raw material with him. The reason why G-d may have arranged this so was in order for the human being to be encouraged to set up a home only with its own species when leaving their parents’ home. This would encourage them in the words of the Torah: והיו לבשר אחד “to become one flesh.” (a body composed of uniform human raw material) None of the other creatures pursue females in order to set up “house” with them.’

He further writes: ‘When the Torah writes in verse 24: ודבק באשתו, that there is a special bond between man and his wife, Rabbi Akiva in Sotah 17, explains this as follows: when a man and his wife are loyal to one another, forsaking the temptation to commit adultery, G-d Himself will be a constant companion of them, seeing that each of them has a letter of His name in their respective names, i.e. the letter י in the word איש, and the letter ה in the word אשה. If they conduct themselves in an unworthy manner, giving in to the temptation to engage in forbidden carnal relationships, G-d withdraws from them leaving only the letters אש, “fire,” burning lust, in their respective names. This fire will consume them. This “fire” will burn more fiercely in woman than in man, so that she will experience its destructive effect sooner than her erstwhile loyal partner, as the letter of G-d’s name was only a suffix in the word אשה, where in the name איש it is central to that word.’